It's been almost 6 months since it happened.
Yes. We broke up. Not every perfect relationship in people's eyes will end up in the best way.
I wanted to blog about it but wanted to settle my emotions first before making any rash decisions such as lashing out on anyone innocent or writing out any temporary words which might cause a permanent scar.
How do I start? I think the most frequently asked question would be: "Are you okay?" After almost half a year, I can confidently say that I'm really fine now. I feel lighter now. The emotional burden compared to back then is almost lifted away completely already.
It was something I didn't expect to happen, but it did. I guess I wish I'd be more ready to accept it, then maybe I wouldn't be in such a mental turmoil. I went through a range of emotions; I was depressed, angry and disappointed. I limited myself into this dark abyss clouded by only negativity. Long story short, I almost lost myself. I wasn't happy; every smile or laugh was forced out everyday.
I want to thank the people who stood by me throughout the dark days I went through. I'm glad I wasn't alone in facing this. I actually kind of pity them haha because I was practically emotional 24 hours a day for at least 2 to 3 months. I couldn't bring to pull myself up, but in that period my eyes were open to so many things and I realized and saw situations a lot differently.
Then, my friends' harsh words (I don't blame them) hit me, only then I started to wake up, I picked myself up, got busy with events etc. But even then I couldn't really stop myself from thinking too much. I tried my best to concentrate in class but even that was a chore.
I didn't stop trying. I played tennis more and it was the main motivation for me to carry on with my life. My mind is blank when I play and it was an escape for me. It was that moment which I finally found myself again.
Of course, the people around me were crazy supportive of me and I am really thankful for that.
In this period I realized that not everything will go our way, and no matter how much we try so hard to appreciate or retain something, it may or may not disappear eventually. But that isn't going to stop me from believing; it's just that I will have to accept the different outcomes that may occur, whether I like it or not.
To be honest, I'm still very afraid of the future. But hey, I believe the future holds wonders and I am still very hopeful about life. Don't worry, I'm feeling a lot more positive now hehe.
The reason I'm writing this is because I want to remember it. Yes, it's a sad event but I want this to be a reminder for myself.
My eyes and heart are cleansed now. If you ask me, I wouldn't go back there again. Not anymore.
Yes. We broke up. Not every perfect relationship in people's eyes will end up in the best way.
I wanted to blog about it but wanted to settle my emotions first before making any rash decisions such as lashing out on anyone innocent or writing out any temporary words which might cause a permanent scar.
How do I start? I think the most frequently asked question would be: "Are you okay?" After almost half a year, I can confidently say that I'm really fine now. I feel lighter now. The emotional burden compared to back then is almost lifted away completely already.
It was something I didn't expect to happen, but it did. I guess I wish I'd be more ready to accept it, then maybe I wouldn't be in such a mental turmoil. I went through a range of emotions; I was depressed, angry and disappointed. I limited myself into this dark abyss clouded by only negativity. Long story short, I almost lost myself. I wasn't happy; every smile or laugh was forced out everyday.
I want to thank the people who stood by me throughout the dark days I went through. I'm glad I wasn't alone in facing this. I actually kind of pity them haha because I was practically emotional 24 hours a day for at least 2 to 3 months. I couldn't bring to pull myself up, but in that period my eyes were open to so many things and I realized and saw situations a lot differently.
Then, my friends' harsh words (I don't blame them) hit me, only then I started to wake up, I picked myself up, got busy with events etc. But even then I couldn't really stop myself from thinking too much. I tried my best to concentrate in class but even that was a chore.
I didn't stop trying. I played tennis more and it was the main motivation for me to carry on with my life. My mind is blank when I play and it was an escape for me. It was that moment which I finally found myself again.
Of course, the people around me were crazy supportive of me and I am really thankful for that.
In this period I realized that not everything will go our way, and no matter how much we try so hard to appreciate or retain something, it may or may not disappear eventually. But that isn't going to stop me from believing; it's just that I will have to accept the different outcomes that may occur, whether I like it or not.
To be honest, I'm still very afraid of the future. But hey, I believe the future holds wonders and I am still very hopeful about life. Don't worry, I'm feeling a lot more positive now hehe.
The reason I'm writing this is because I want to remember it. Yes, it's a sad event but I want this to be a reminder for myself.
My eyes and heart are cleansed now. If you ask me, I wouldn't go back there again. Not anymore.
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