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Chapter 147 : I can't do it. 

this post is going to be really emo so if you can't take an emo person then you might as well just click that x on the top right( zzz ) corner up there. thank you. fyi, I don't really need another visitor...


Left and Right (*edited)
When nothing goes right, go left. 
The problem is, I don't have anywhere to go.. 



I am still not myself. Sorry. 
I have been using the F word for a lot this week. -.-
I cannot resist the urge to do it. Lalala.
It has certainly become a bad habit of mine; I should stop.
Like seriously. = =


So we got back like a few papers today and guess what?
I HATE MYSELF.
LALALA. =.= 
I have the desire to get awesome results but seriously, I can never, and never will get the results I want. 

Kaay, here's some shit you might wanna know:
 Don't ask me if I'm depressed. Because I am.
Don't ask me if I'm angry. Because I am.
Don't ask me if I'm frustrated. Because I am. 
Don't ask me if I'm crazy. Because I am. 

So if you actually saw me laughing like whatever fuckin shit, I AM really depressed and frustrated. -.-
You just can't see it. 
Because all you can see and hear are those fuckin irritating laughs. 
I don't know why I do that, because I just do. 
It's not because I'm happy. It's just...never mind. 
Nobody can or will understand anyway. 
But whatever. 


Getting into the Top 15 is the only limit I can go. I can't exceed any more than that. Unless the Top 10 people got sick and...you know what I mean. 
And yeah, all I got is my mum's scolding. Not to mention LOSING in Perlis after that week of training when we had our tests. =_=
We didn't even win one frickin state?  Penang just sucks. A LOT. Freakin bitches. 
YEAH THAT REALLY HELPED A LOT. not. 


If you're wondering, it's not really so much about the SLR right now.
It's about how I perform for every test. Minor or major, no matter. 
I can't exceed anymore okay! I just can't. 




I can't do it. 





xoxo-
celine. 


depressing moment means going online more often. 
it's not gonna help, is it? 
yeah I know. 

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