I admit. I'm a super emotionally influenced person. One slight matter or word will trigger me into an emotional ball of self-pity. I never really realized it until I notice that I get mad or sad on such minute matters that won't matter at all in the next 10 years. I get worked up easily though I cool down as easily too. This is why Ch said I have low heat capacity lolol. I forgive, but I never forget.
Is it a bad thing to be so emotionally driven? To be honest I think it's pretty bad. I tend to put my emotions in other people's hands and expect them to hold them dearly. Most of the time I ALLOW people to affect me. I know, I've said it to myself many times that I should just care about my own feelings and not let anyone ruin my happiness. But...how many times have my own words worked on me?
How many times have I forced myself to not be influenced by people who don't matter? How many times have I cried over meaningless problems that aren't even fit to be called problems in the first place? How many times have I wasted my happiness to feed on dark thoughts?
I don't usually fight back but when I do, it's because you've crossed my limit. OR you deliberately want to see me angry. It's true that I'm not a patient person. And I don't like people stepping on me when I'm already down.
So what gotten me to write this post was something that happened recently.
I've been watching YG's reality survival show Mix and Match these few days. And yeah, I got sucked into the Kpop world again. I was really attracted to iKon's leader Hanbin and I proceeded to fangirl on twitter.
Few hours later someone just had to start bashing them. As you've predicted, I got really mad. Like SERIOUSLY mad. I think it's mainly because I've gotten to start liking these people but you just had to pull them down? I felt protective I guess. Another reason was because this person had already bashed lots of other idols as well (exclusive of her own of course). I had no comments on those because I wasn't sure of the situation.
But this? She seemed so deliberate though. Her criticisms looked forced to me, as if she had purposely crucially thought of a good sarcastic comment to criticize them lol.
This is what I dislike most. People who criticize without thorough understanding. She obviously just wanted to criticize for the sake of criticizing.
Sure, all of this might sound so childish to you, having to lose my temper over idols who don't even know that I exist. I guess it's more of the pointless criticism that got to me than the importance of the idols.
Let me tell you. She has criticized SO MANY people other than idols before and it was getting on my nerves.
I know. People have their rights to say what they want. But when it comes to hurting the people I love (not just idols), I WILL have a say on it.
Then again.
I wish there was a button to push so that I could isolate myself from what people say that could hurt me. This is a cruel world and people are cunning. This is reality and I don't expect people to fully care about what I feel. The only thing I could do to help myself is to put up a barrier so that their gunshots can't get through. Of course, it's easier said than done.
Anyways, I can't change what the person is thinking, but I can change what I don't want my eyes to see. So as of now I've already removed this person's kind opinions from my sight.
Oh. And I never thought that Wechat has that many quiet users. I initially thought that only a few users (of whom I'm quite close with so they wouldn't judge much) were on Wechat so I went on to rant a bit. Ok. A lot actually.
The next day Aaron asked if I was alright lol. I was quite shocked initially but also quite touched hahaha. And soon a few others like Xin Yun and Wenhao asked if I was okay.
Thank you people for the concern. :)
I shall start creating my wall from now on. And learn to control my emotions rather than letting it control me. There are still abundant of lessons to learn in this life. I am super grateful for people who still care. You people are real gems of my life.
Is it a bad thing to be so emotionally driven? To be honest I think it's pretty bad. I tend to put my emotions in other people's hands and expect them to hold them dearly. Most of the time I ALLOW people to affect me. I know, I've said it to myself many times that I should just care about my own feelings and not let anyone ruin my happiness. But...how many times have my own words worked on me?
How many times have I forced myself to not be influenced by people who don't matter? How many times have I cried over meaningless problems that aren't even fit to be called problems in the first place? How many times have I wasted my happiness to feed on dark thoughts?
I don't usually fight back but when I do, it's because you've crossed my limit. OR you deliberately want to see me angry. It's true that I'm not a patient person. And I don't like people stepping on me when I'm already down.
xxx
So what gotten me to write this post was something that happened recently.
I've been watching YG's reality survival show Mix and Match these few days. And yeah, I got sucked into the Kpop world again. I was really attracted to iKon's leader Hanbin and I proceeded to fangirl on twitter.
Few hours later someone just had to start bashing them. As you've predicted, I got really mad. Like SERIOUSLY mad. I think it's mainly because I've gotten to start liking these people but you just had to pull them down? I felt protective I guess. Another reason was because this person had already bashed lots of other idols as well (exclusive of her own of course). I had no comments on those because I wasn't sure of the situation.
But this? She seemed so deliberate though. Her criticisms looked forced to me, as if she had purposely crucially thought of a good sarcastic comment to criticize them lol.
This is what I dislike most. People who criticize without thorough understanding. She obviously just wanted to criticize for the sake of criticizing.
Sure, all of this might sound so childish to you, having to lose my temper over idols who don't even know that I exist. I guess it's more of the pointless criticism that got to me than the importance of the idols.
Let me tell you. She has criticized SO MANY people other than idols before and it was getting on my nerves.
I know. People have their rights to say what they want. But when it comes to hurting the people I love (not just idols), I WILL have a say on it.
Then again.
I wish there was a button to push so that I could isolate myself from what people say that could hurt me. This is a cruel world and people are cunning. This is reality and I don't expect people to fully care about what I feel. The only thing I could do to help myself is to put up a barrier so that their gunshots can't get through. Of course, it's easier said than done.
Anyways, I can't change what the person is thinking, but I can change what I don't want my eyes to see. So as of now I've already removed this person's kind opinions from my sight.
Oh. And I never thought that Wechat has that many quiet users. I initially thought that only a few users (of whom I'm quite close with so they wouldn't judge much) were on Wechat so I went on to rant a bit. Ok. A lot actually.
The next day Aaron asked if I was alright lol. I was quite shocked initially but also quite touched hahaha. And soon a few others like Xin Yun and Wenhao asked if I was okay.
Thank you people for the concern. :)
I shall start creating my wall from now on. And learn to control my emotions rather than letting it control me. There are still abundant of lessons to learn in this life. I am super grateful for people who still care. You people are real gems of my life.
加油吧 :)
x
Celine
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