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Chapter 288: College

Phew. I can finally sit down and type something. The past 2 weeks have been...well, I can't say that it's hectic, because I'm sure A LOT of people have it much harder than me. Hmm, let's just say I've been a little bit busy. Last Friday I went for the Sinchew Scholarship Interview! Hahaha I type here also feel paiseh. Previous interviews were all not successful sadly, that's why I have to go apply for more. I wonder if people talk bad about me behind their backs? LOL. Like, "Oh my God she's been through 2 scholarship interviews and she got none! Now she wants to go for another one? I'm sure she'll fail like the previous ones." I don't know. Maybe yes maybe no. I guess it's inevitable. Because I myself feel this way too. *自卑* And yet the other part of me feels that having the opportunity to attend the interviews is already considered not bad; it's just that I'm not good enough to compete with the rest.

Anyway the interview was alright. The offer for this scholarship is only the tuition fees, I still have to pay for the resource fees, exam paper fees and of course my own accommodation, but hey, it's better than nothing right? 19K is not a small amount. Praying that they'll give me the scholarship. If not, never mind, I can still apply next year. :)

I also just finished my Writing Skills presentation on Wednesday. As long as I know, my presentation skills is pretty bad lol. I don't know if I have stage fright or something but I tend to get stuck and forget what I'm about to say. This time I think I did pretty okay, probably because I practiced a few times before, so I'm quite proud of myself! I did forget a few lines though, but thankfully I didn't pause and just went with it. The ACCA programme doesn't require us to have presentations all the time like the degree students, except when it's time for OBU. So as much as I hate the MPU subjects, I think it's good that they allow us to learn what we're lacking in ACCA.

Wrote 3 paragraphs and yet I'm still not into the topic lolol. Ok. Today I'm gonna write about what I feel in College. It doesn't necessary apply to everyone because we're experiencing different situations.

It's been a year since I started College, and damn, what a ride. I think what I despise most in College is the dramas. I hate dramas,  And I know a lot of dramas happen back in high school but surprisingly my high school life was drama-free. We have quarreled of course but not to that extent. College, woah. I guess it's because we're all different people coming from different places and it takes time to adapt to each other's behaviour. Mind you, I didn't get involved in any of the drama but then witnessing them makes me feel uneasy as well. Yeah, I know. We must learn how to accept other people's flaws yadah yadah yadah. That is needless to say ok. Don't go being a counselor on me lol. I'm still adapting myself to this.

Look. I accept people's flaws, but of course to a certain extent. There are some things in life that I cannot accept. Haha I'm sorry it's way too private to actually type it here. I just wanna justify myself that I have my own principles and there are certain things in life that I can't bring myself to accept. I don't want to mould myself into this kind of culture. Maybe I'll write about it someday, or maybe not.

Despite all that, I still believe people are genuinely good at heart. There are certain reasons they act this way. And after all that shit I am truly grateful for those whom I'm close with; the ones whom I can talk and joke to with no hard feelings; the ones who have stuck by me through everything. I do have my happy times in College. I guess, from now on, it's time to let go and just LIVE. I know I'm gonna miss College so much when I go out to work, just like how I miss high school so much when I left.

I'm not the kind of person who can just be carefree and all. I feel very influenced by the people around me and the feelings they give me. Sometimes I wonder why I'm so emotional? Hahaha.

Don't get me wrong. I am not depressed or whatsoever in College. I enjoy it, it's just that I'm writing out the negative ones I felt. This is not instagram or Facebook, which is why I don't just portray what's happy in my life. I portray almost everything I feel.

I don't pray for a smooth College life. I pray for the strength for me to brave through everything throughout this period.


By the way, don't judge me and my emotions ok. LOLOLOL.


x
Celine 






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